THE BRONX, New York – (Entertainment Satire) – The Bronx Zoo has confirmed that half a dozen jerks were apprehended inside the zoo impersonating zoo animals.
And as one of the chief zookeepers stated, the six punks did a very fucked up job of impersonating the various animals. He noted that some of the gorillas, monkeys, and baboons literally booed their (red) asses off!
Police quickly arrested the six, who said that they are students at the Juilliard School of Advanced Music.
After being fingerprinted (pawprinted) and booked at the police precinct, the six were given a drug test. The elephant tested positive for marijuana, the giraffe tested positive for heroin, and the monkey tested positive for cocaine, bananas, LSD, PCP, and IUD.
The aardvark, however, was as clean as Martha Stewart’s house.
SIDENOTE: iRumors is reporting that the six shit heads are going to be put on probation for 13 months, and they are strictly forbidden from coming within 85 feet of any zoo animals, pet clinics, or animal kennels.