NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – A Federal judge has ruled that Siri has been violating the privacy rights of private citizens and now, her owners (Apple Inc.) will have to pay a fine.
Judge Fawn Gettasax, 57, stated that Siri has stepped way past the line of human decency and has resorted to being nothing more than a rumormonger, who knows some of the most intimate secrets of well over 51.8 million Siri subscribers.
One individual, who gave his name as Daniel Boone, told Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres reporter Ersatz Pontoon that all of a sudden several female employees at work began whispering behind his back about the amazing size of his male member (penis erectus).
He stated that he had never dated any of the two salivators, but one told him that she got the info on his peckarino (peter) from Siri.
Apple is facing a possible fine of over $3.7 million.
Siri’s boss has hired noted Denver attorney Rocky Jellomaker, who says that Siri is innocent, and added that she is basically just a submissive, subservient employee who does as she is told, kind of like all of the Trumptard's cabinet members.