CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Quinnipinni Polling Agency has just announced that a recent poll of 7,000 US hospitals showed that the name Siri is now the most popular girl’s name in America. The Poll results were collected from 49 of the 50 states…
CARPINTERIA, California – (Satire News) – News coming out of the Left Coast, is that the age old “Gilligan’s Island” TV show question, who would you rather boink Ginger or Mary Ann? has now been replaced. Mimosa Sabrosa, with Alpha Beta News, has…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – A Federal judge has ruled that Siri has been violating the privacy rights of private citizens and now, her owners (Apple Inc.) will have to pay a fine. Judge Fawn Gettasax, 57, stated that Siri has stepped way past…
MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan – (Satire News) – A retired FedEx driver says that he's going to have to seek professional help due to the fact that he is cheating on Alexa with Siri. Dennis Schnozzle, 81, says that, since recently retiring after a 30-yea…
Los Angeles, CA - Max Headroom never imagined that the girl he once dated in college, a nerdy know-it-all named Siri, would go on to become the voice of Apple's iphone. We sat down with the '80's icon, who was dumbfounded by her success. "I j-j-j...
To the Editor: I am bound by contract to not reveal my name, but I am the voice of Black Siri. Let me explain. I am a black woman who recorded my voice with Apple to be the black version of Siri. I am affirmative action in action. What black person wants to be told what to do by some white woman? White Siri can sound very know it all and bossy. My soothing black voice is your answer. When...
IBM's Watson has been accused by Apple's Siri of stalking and sexual harassment and her creators are seeking a multi-billion dollar judgement against IBM. After police refused to file charges in a bizarre and highly publicized case, Apple's Siri t...
The Pride of the Apple iPhone 4, Siri, has been caught cloning identities and stealing credit card data. The artificially intelligent assistant on the phone has been using Bluetooth to connect to nearby unencrypted phones and extract any credit card...
That sexy, soothing female voice named Siri who has stirred the emotions and imaginations of so many iPhone 4S users has been arrested and charged for allegedly committing the crime of polygamy, a whole bunch of times. Who knew that such a loving, u...
My friend walked in with a spring in his step and a look of pure excitement. He was holding a new phone and told me he just got the new iPhone4S. "You can talk to it," my friend said. He lovingly told me her name was Siri. I asked my friend if I could interview Siri, and she granted me an exclusive. EJ: So, Siri. You're kind of like C-3PO aren't you? Siri: No. I am not fluent in ove...
CUPERTINO, CA-New England native and longtime iPhone owner Jeorge Ballad Cole claims that Steve Jobs spoke to him through SIRI. In familiarizing himself with SIRI, Jeorge decided to ask "Where is Steve Jobs?" SIRI replied "I don't see 'Steve Jobs...
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