The Kim Kardashian-Van Jones Rumors Are Sizzling Out of Tinsel Town

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 27 April 2021

image for The Kim Kardashian-Van Jones Rumors Are Sizzling Out of Tinsel Town
The stunning Kim Kardashian sunbathing on Malibu Beach. (Photo courtesy of Van Jones).

HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) - Taffeta Kixx with BuzzFuzz, is reporting that the latest sizzling rumors to come out of Tinsel Town’s infamous rumor mill concern the soon-to-be-divorced Kim Kardashian and CNN famed news analyst Van Jones.

The couple were reportedly spotted at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater Restaurant, where the giggly duo were showcasing a PDA as they dined on imported Shanghai Tofu Noodles ala Wok, Basted Crab Rangoon, and Sweet and Sour Reconstituted Avocado Stuffed Fortune Cookies.

Kim, who is noted for her humongous breasts and quintessential booty, told Miss Kixx that her and Van have several things in common including a love for Marx Brothers movies, the Los Angeles Dodgers, books on earthquakes, French kissing, and the number 77.

Meanwhile Van, noted that he just simply loves the way Kim smells, which he describes as a cross between The Queen of The Nile Exquisite Bath Water and Lithuanian Lavender La La Mist.

When Kim’s sisters Khloe and Kourtney were asked about Kim and Van’s relationship, Khloe said, that she hasn’t seen Kim this happy since she got her first training bra, and Kourtney commented that just since Kim has been dating Van, she has seen her smile more times in two weeks, than she had in her entire 7-year-marriage to Kanye “The Pest” West.

In related news. Kylie Kardashian, who is worth a billion dollars, told Anderson Cooper that she is thinking about purchasing the Alamo and turning it into a five-star Bed & Breakfast.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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