Clearly, Cuomo Was Elected For His Executive Ability

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 13 March 2021

image for Clearly, Cuomo Was Elected For His Executive Ability
"Keep your hands off!"

When the COVID pandemic struck, Donald Trump was asleep at the wheel of his golf cart. The best Trump could suggest was, (wait for it) ”Drink a shot of Lysol, followed by a chaser of Clorox. Maybe afterwards, some kind of flash-light enema.”

That was Trump’s advice in a nutshell!

Not so Governor Cuomo. True, he may have been groping the ladies under the table during his daily Coronavirus briefings, but the guy was there, not only for New York, but for the rest of the nation.

“Get that hospital ship out of mothballs and bring it to New York. We’re running out of beds, and Covid patients are lined up in hospital halls.”

Trump asked, “We have a hospital ship?”

“Send us all your extra ventilators. When our numbers go down, we’ll send them back wherever needed. Same with nurses and doctors. Afterwards, we’ll send our nurses and doctors wherever they’re needed.”

Bleak days, but the Governor had a plan, and the numbers started to come down. Lives were saved. And Cuomo’s daily briefings helped to tackle a pandemic, and raise the spirits of the entire nation.

He even received an International Emmy for those daily briefings.

So Cuomo's told to resign. Seven ladies came forward with complaints.

In the film Tootsie, the Dorothy Michaels' character, portrayed by Dustin Hoffman, had advice for women who were victimized.

"Listen, you take your hands off me, or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth."

Maybe the Governor needs an ankle cuff with a siren that goes off if he gets too close?

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more