New book claims pervy Russian ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev 'was John F Kennedy Jr's birth father'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

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JFK: the wife did it, says book

New York - A new celeb memoir published this week says Jackie Kennedy shagged AC/DC Russian prima ballerina Rudolf Nureyev, who also fathered her son JFK Jr.

Revelations from the Cold Whore daze also finger Jackie for hiring the Dallas shooters who topped her husband President John F Kennedy after he found out about the Russian in pink tights 'and loads of other extramarital stuff'.

Ludo Smorgasbord's 50,000-word blockbuster 'Wacky Jackie', published by Radon House this week, also accuses Jackie's sister sister, Caroline Lee Bouvier Canfield Radziwill (phew, whaddamouthfull!) of humping Nureyev behind her big sis's back.

The five year fling also saw Nureyev confirm his legendary sexual prowess by stretching those fathomless proclivities to humping the dead President's brother Robert F Kennedy in between servicing the libidos of the Bouvier Gals.

Eventually it all went pear-shaped for Jack 'Blackjack' Bouvier's lustful daughters as a weird Russian karmic hex in the coming decades came to haunt them with Jackie's son John F Kennedy Jr dying young in a light aircraft disaster that also killed his heroin-toting wife and sister-in-law.

Caroline's marriage to Lithuanian Prince Stanislaus Radziwill also unravelled pretty damn fast after he was caught money laundering for the Satanic P2 Lodge in the Brit scandal of the God's Banker Suicide.

And the rest, as they say, is hystery.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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