Governor Cuomo Takes Food Tasters To White House

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

image for Governor Cuomo Takes Food Tasters To White House
Somewhere Governor Cuomo is making a quick change.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo transferred and promoted two members from his security staff to food tasters after accepting an invitation by Donald Trump to the White House.

Asked what was going to be on his agenda when he meets Trump, the governor was said to reply: "Testing. How to get testing compounds for test kits, so New York’s taxpayers can get tested. Compounds come from China. Get on the phone with China."

Simple! Easy! Va Boom.

Meanwhile, if offered anything to eat or drink, even a glass of water, his food tasters are prepared to take one for the boss.

Editor: He actually said that? Isn’t that like poking a stick in the lion's cage?

Reply: Who knows.

As rumors go, it is also rumored that the Governor has a spare ventilator, and a resuscitator stashed in the trunk of his limo, as well as a battery of antidotes covering everything from rattlesnake venom to tainted mushrooms. And, just in case Trump sneezes in his direction, the governor plans to wear a mask and a plastic shield as soon as he steps out of his vehicle.

Asked whether he plans to shake Trump's hand, it was made clear he was going to wear rubber gloves.

Once the meeting is over, the governor plans to strip naked behind a White House bush or hedge or his limo. He'll step into a barrel of disinfectant. Soak for at least one minute, hold his nose, shut his eyes, and dip into the disinfectant, submerge, emerge, climb out of the barrel, dry off with disposable towels. Then, dress in a completely new set of clothing, throw away the old set of clothing and disposable towels into an incinerator bag, glue it shut, then seal it with duct tape, throw the bag into a waiting New York fire truck, get into his limo, and peel the hell out of the White House grounds like a bat out of hell.

A bat?

Okay, a rocket out of hell.

Once safely back at the Governor’s mansion in Albany, New York, he can breathe a sigh of relief.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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