Joe Rogan Experience Guest Advises Listeners That 'Things To Do Before They Die' Should Be Done Without Further Delay

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 12 March 2020

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Wherever you are, it's a quarter to oblivion

A health expert guest on the Joe Rogan Experience, the audio and video podcast, who had been invited to talk about the Coronavirus, its possible implications, and how to go about dealing with it, should you get it, had some stark advice for those listening.

Michael Osterholm is Regents Professor, McKnight Presidential Endowed Chair in Public Health, the director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy (CIDRAP), Distinguished Teaching Professor in the Division of Environmental Health Sciences, School of Public Health, a professor in the Technological Leadership Institute, College of Science and Engineering, and an adjunct professor in the Medical School, all at the University of Minnesota, according to YouTube.

He said:

"Whatever things you have on your 'to do' lists, I suggest you do them now; whatever dreams you are nurturing for the future; anyone you want to say sorry to; any wrong to put right; anything you mean to say to someone special - immediately go and get on with it, because you haven't got much time."

Asked to expand on this, he said:

"Certainly. If there is anything you've always wanted to do - bungee jumping, go to work naked, punch a cop full in the face - or anywhere you've always wanted to visit - Paris, London, Buenos Aires - then get cracking. The big clock is ticking loudly, and your seconds are running out."

Rogan asked him if this wasn't something of an overreaction, and whether people shouldn't just wash their hands thoroughly, and try to avoid large gatherings.

Osterhelm answered:

"Those are good things to do, but, with the slow start we got on this, thinking it was a 'China thing', resulting in a widespread panic when we realized it wasn't going to stay in China, I think many people will be lucky to see Christmas. Time is of the essence. Don't waste it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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