Man Is Forming A Band Like Kraftwerk

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 18 April 2019

image for Man Is Forming A Band Like Kraftwerk
Thriftwerk: like Kraftwerk, but thriftier, and less musical

A man who inadvertently stumbled upon a Kraftwerk song he had forgotten about from the 1980s, and thoroughly enjoyed it, has said he, himself, is going to form a band like the German electronic band, and is currently recruiting band members.

Moys Kenwood, 55, listened to 'Computer Love', and could not erase the haunting keyboard melody from his mind, so pervasive was it. Instead, he has now decided to put together an electronic band of his own. He said:

"We're going to need four blokes, including me, who can play different kinds of synthesizers, like the Kraftwerk lads. Unfortunately, I can't play a synth myself, or, indeed, any other musical instrument, but this is just a detail."

Kenwood has already written some songs:

"They're more like tunes, really. They're in my head. I'm remembering them on a sort of 'da-da-de-da' basis, rather than writing them down as musical notation. Again, this is just detail."

And he's also been busy on the instrumentation front, albeit with rather hefty budgetary constraints.

"We're going to need synthesizers, electronic drum machines, a vocoder, a polymoog keyboard, electronic percussion, a Vako orchestron, a music sequencer, and so on. I've been round the charity shops, but no luck as yet."

Several names have been proposed for the band, but no decision has yet been made. Favorite amongst these is currently Thriftwerk.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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