The BBC have finally admitted that critics of the latest season of Dr Who will be rounded up and placed in "Special Camps" with their license fees trebled, and their children forced to watch constant repeats of The Antiques Roadshow
"It's simply intolerable that these nerds are even allowed to breed" said a BBC producer from her luxury flat in Islington
Recent reviews of the much-loved series have included criticisms for being overtly PC, misandrist and just plain bloody awful, with fans of the series walking away in droves.
"They just don't get it" said a BBC Professional Lesbian "They should be made to wear a special badge - perhaps a star or a triangle. That way, they can be identified as Dr Who critics who are really inferior to us."
The "Special Camps" will largely consist of a disused quarry in Wales and a specially segregated area on Hampstead common - apparently, areas very familiar to Dr Who Fans.
We asked Trevor Boggis, a lifelong Who fan with questionable fashion sense, and an even more questionable body odour problem, to comment.
"It's not about the racism or sexism" he said. "Most of us don't like it because it's fucking shit."