Diane Abbott To Host TV's 'Countdown'

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 4 February 2019

image for Diane Abbott To Host TV's 'Countdown'
Let me just check...

Diane Abbott, the popular Labour MP, and all-round entertainer, is to be the new host of teatime TV gameshow, 'Countdown', it has been revealed.

'Countdown' is a British game show broadcast on Channel 4, involving word and number puzzles. It was presented by Richard Whiteley for over 20 years, until he died from over-exposure to numbers in 2005. Carol Vorderman had been the co-presenter since the show began in 1982, until she made a horrendous wrong calculation in 2008, which effectively ended her career.

Diane, 65, will be a surprise choice for many, her background being in History, rather than sums, as she has demonstrated with cripplingly-frequent cringeworthiness during various TV and radio interviews in the recent past.

The Shadow Home Secretary's father was a welder, and her mother was a nurse, which may go some way to explaining why she deals with simple number problems like Florence Nightingale with a blow torch.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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