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Calculator Stopped Working At Critical Time

Funny story: Calculator Stopped Working At Critical Time

A calculator which was being used to 'tot up' a list of figures, stopped working at a critical point yesterday, just as the person using it was about to press the '=' sign. Moys Kenwood, 54, received the 'electronic calculating apparatus' as a Chr...

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Trump Will Sign Executive Order Removing Math and Science Classes From Schools

Funny story: Trump Will Sign Executive Order Removing Math and Science Classes From Schools

Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump gave a speech on the golf course today and talked about how he will help safeguard the "future of America." Trump said, "I am tired of the United States coming in #39 and worse in the Global Scholastic Scores. And it's because...

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New Study Determines Teenagers Are Not Getting Enough Sleep In Math Class

Funny story: New Study Determines Teenagers Are Not Getting Enough Sleep In Math Class

A new research study published by the University of Eastleigh proved that teenagers aren't getting enough sleep in their math classes. Dr. Berns, the leading researcher on the project, explained: "Many teenagers struggle from a lack of sleep. Aft...

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Math Teacher Unaware that Puns Aren't Cool Anymore

Michael Langley, a math teacher at Harrisburg High School, was reportedly unaware that puns aren't cool anymore. Chris Jarvis, a 11th grade student who has been in Langley's class for three straight years, remarks: "Mr. Langley keeps repeating th...

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Trump Vows To Ban Arabic Numerals In Case They Have ISIS Sleeper Cell Ties

Funny story: Trump Vows To Ban Arabic Numerals In Case They Have ISIS Sleeper Cell Ties

In anther appeal to anti-Islamic sentiment republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has stated that he intends to rid the country of Arabic numerals for security reasons. During one of his narcissistic tirades in the middle of a campaign spee...

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We want our Super Bowl "L": Roman numeral fans demand

Funny story: We want our Super Bowl "L": Roman numeral fans demand

New York - After 49 years of identifying its Super Bowl events with Roman numerals, the NFL has switched to modern numbering for Super Bowl 50. But the antique counting system is not going down without a fight. A group of accountants and a qu...

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Math Whiz Nash Should Have Known The End Was Near

Funny story: Math Whiz Nash Should Have Known The End Was Near

Boston, MA - Rhode Scholars and fellow mathematician dorks around the globe, all agree that Professor John Nash, the Nobel Prize winning math genius, and subject of the Oscar winning film, 'A Beautiful Mind,' should have easily figured out that he w...

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'A Beautiful Launderette' numbers man found RIP in back of Yellow Cab

Funny story: 'A Beautiful Launderette' numbers man found RIP in back of Yellow Cab

New Jersey - A topnotch mathematician thought to have been the inspiration behind the movie 'A Beautiful Launderette' has been found in a deceased condition inside a crashed New Jersey cab. John Doe Jr and his wife Jane, both 103, were in the bac...

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Chinese kid isn't good at math

A Chinese 5th grader at an elementary school in the Boston-area is apparently last in his class when it comes to math. The student, Chen Wu Zhang, was born in the United States, but his mother and father emigrated to the U.S. from China in 1999.

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New Shakespeare Maths For Schools

Funny story: New Shakespeare Maths For Schools

The Government is introducing a new programme for schools, starting this week. A mix up somewhere in the Ministry of Education has led to the ideas for Maths and Literature being confused. Former Minister of Education, Michael Guv, explained that...

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9 Year Old Solves Centuries-old Math Problem

Funny story: 9 Year Old Solves Centuries-old Math Problem

Fibonacci, OH - A 3rd-grader from Fibonacci, Ohio has solved a mathematical concept that has perplexed mathematicians for centuries. Nine year old Samantha Integral was doing her homework when she overheard her mother talking on the telephone. She h...

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Mother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth

Funny story: Mother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth

Kansas City, MO - Despite always on-going efforts to increase the impact of their greeting cards, Hallmark Cards has confirmed that - in the opinions of the thousands of mothers polled each year - none of the cards in their line of Mother's Day cards...

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Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Funny story: Mathematics to be abolished in an independent Scotland

Mathematics would not exist in an independent Scotland. The startling revelation was made today in a speech by First Minister Alex Salmond, where he outlined more of his plans for the country in the event of a Yes vote. The shock announcement...

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Square root of minus one is an imaginary number, Stephen Hawking says

Funny story: Square root of minus one is an imaginary number, Stephen Hawking says

Professor Stephen Hawking. has disclosed that maths teachers have been kidding about J, the square root of minus one. It apparently does not exist in the natural universe. A market trader from Basildon blew the whistle on the myth on Saturday mor...

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Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Funny story: Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...

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New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

Funny story: New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

Flushing, New York - Due to an accounting error, the New York Mets baseball club has been mathematically eliminated from the 2014 National League playoffs. Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon took full responsibility for the arithmetic mishap. H...

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Mathematicians fit a square peg in a round hole

Funny story: Mathematicians fit a square peg in a round hole

Mathematicians at Keswick University have produced a proof that shows how to fit a square peg into a round hole. "Using topological manipulation calculations," said theoretical mathematician, Patience Tested, "we have successfully transmogrified a...

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Statistically speaking, someone in the world thinks "White Chicks" is the greatest film ever made - an opinion piece

Funny story: Statistically speaking, someone in the world thinks "White Chicks" is the greatest film ever made - an opinion piece

Statistics is a funny science. The process of collecting and interpreting data can often lead to some unpleasant, odd, or belief-defying answers. It doesn't always yield perfect results, but like any scientific endeavor, we can be sure more often than not that our work, if done correctly, leads us to the truth. But of all the claims we can make using statistics, perhaps the most outrageous is the...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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