The UK government today announced that hairy one-time radio disc jockey and superstitious weirdo Noel Edmonds will present a special TV programme the day before Britain is due to leave the EU to tell the nation what kind of deal has been arranged.
Harry Maguire, football's golden boy, who signed for Melchester United in an £80million deal last week, could be involved in another 'deal' soon, after Channel 4 announced the sensational comeback of the last truly great TV gameshow, 'Deal Or No Deal...
It seems the only way to get the 'infamous deal' through the UK parliament is to 'shag it through!' So, May is being dumped by the Tories and replaced by 85 year-old, Ukrainian nymphomaniac, infamous hag after her renowned, breathless performances...
In a follow up to her enthusiasm about a No Deal Brexit being A-OK-not-a-problem, Theresa May has issued a reassuring statement relating to absolutely anything which may crop up, informing the British public, "it'll probably be fine". This follows...
American TV Network NAC has announced plans to commission a new game show featuring Hollywood actors and actresses titled "Drug Deal or No Deal". The show will be hosted by Charlie Sheen, and will premiere on March 19, 2014, on NAC. The hour-lo...
Audience members of 'Deal or No Deal' are reporting that they witnessed an incredible sight on one of the recent episodes which will likely never be aired. It seems that during the episode, the 'banker' made one of the traditional phone calls to t...
Monday Woke up late, go to unlock the door and check the (outdoor) post box. The key won't turn. Panic. Keep trying - nothing. Think about climbing out the window, or asking the neighbour who I've only met once, if I can go through their door. Eventually I get it open to much relief by not pushing the key in all the way! Wednesday Overheard Conversation Of The Week Girl to her fella "At the...
World champion Ronnie O'Sullivan is to "take some time off" from competitive snooker after refusing to sign the official players' contract. Ronnie made the announcement on his official website earlier today. A spokesman for Ilford High St inte...
Noel Edmonds has been arrested by London Metropolitan Police this morning, when it was revealed that Deal or No Deal is a cult. "We first figured that Edmonds was a wrong 'un," said Detective Inspector Oscar Romeo, who led the investigation, "when...
Celebrity beardy bloke, Noel Edmonds, was thanking his lucky stars this evening following a ruling that found him not guilty of misrepresentation in the presentation of his hit show, Deal or no Deal The diminutive gnome-like former breakfast jock...
Derek Acorah, the Jedi Master of Psychics is to appear alongside Mystic Meg, Joe Power, Colin Fry, Belinda Bentley and several other celebrity psychics in a special one-off edition of the tedious probabilities show, Deal or No Deal. "This is going...
George Osborne has announced a new direction for the government's economic policy. Hardly able to talk through his tears, he told a hushed press conference today: "It's no use - nothing we do works, and everyone criticises us." "I talk to the best...
A celebrity edition of deal or no deal has been axed due to the contestants inability to answer the question. Alex Reid, famous for being someone's boyfriend was first up, but failed to get past round one as each time Noel asked him "deal or no...
Daytime TV viewers were up in arms today after self righteous, gnome Noel Edmonds, chose an irritating lump of lard from Liverpool to be the contestant on Deal Or No Deal. Fans of the show took an immediate dislike to her and reached for their rem...
NBC Peacock is not well. The popular TV game show "Deal or No Deal" is no longer available for the enjoyment of viewers. It is reported that the show's producers are not able to provide funds for the show to continue. The show was so popular b...
Bristol, England - Deal or No Deal's banker Mr Banker was yesterday told he will be made redundant, effective immediately. Auditors spent two days going through the accounts and came out with the grave news: The Banker has given away £6.1 billion...
In a sensational development in the "Deal or no Deal" TV scandal presenter Noel Edmonds was certified as insane yesterday by a medical examiner in Basingstoke Hampshire. Shocked family members and colleagues were stunned by the news that he had been...
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