Vagueness of Vegas

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Wednesday, 19 September 2018

In yet another of our hard hitting yet softly satisfying interviews we asked international comedic superstar, Johnny Vegas, for the secrets behind his dramatic weight loss.

Johnny, who has lost “loads of weight” in the last year, clearly wasn’t thrilled to be doing the interview and kept us waiting for over 6 hours.

In fact we think he only agreed to do the thing after we cornered him in that broom cupboard.

Weight loss is something that effects up to 56% of us so here in Johnny’s own words are the secrets to perfecting it.

Look there’s no real secret to it. I just stopped eating wedding cakes on day’s I wasn’t at a wedding and cut back on my alcohol intake. Which, before my lifestyle change, had gotten a little out of control.

We could vouch for this having been involved in one of Johnnies legendary 12 day gin benders that ended with two Chinese fellas dying in a speedboat chase.

Johnny went onto say:

Can I go now?

We nodded.

And that concludes another successful interview, hopefully now we’re out of hospital (after having a allergic reaction to full time employment) we’ll have more informative interviews for you to feast your brain waves on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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