Written by Aspartame Boy

Monday, 19 February 2018

image for Carnivor Cruise Line to feature cannibalism on the high seas
One of the quietest times onboard: weapon selection

Miami, FL - A new reality TV series will launch this fall documenting the adventures of vacationers braving voyages on the new Carnivor Cruise Line, producer Annibalcay Rossgay told us when we asked him what’s new.

Vacationers sign a waiver that they might not return from their trip, in which case, their estates are awarded $1,000,000.

Upon boarding the ship they are given a choice of weapons:

Steel towed shoes for kicking people who go down

Sharpened umbrellas for running through

Broken whisky bottles

Handcuffs for use as knuckle dusters.

Every night, one of the late vacationers is served for dinner, well seasoned with aspartame.

There is only one rule onboard: don’t be late for dinner.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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