Written by Purple Girl

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

image for Town of 'Nice' Has Unusual Crime Spree
An unknown person left 50 dozen donuts in the police department's breakroom.

Amanda Jenkins had quite surprise. Her purse was missing. But some stranger returned her purse with much more money than she had before, and even recharged her phone and replaced the broken compact she carried. "I was worried someone had stolen my purse, but they gave it back with more money than before."

Meanwhile, Todd Freemond visited a friend in an unfamiliar neighborhood. As he returned to his car, he saw a man running from his car with what looked like his stereo. When he got inside, that was when he noticed someone had installed a brand new stereo into his car. According to Mr. Freemond, "This took me by surprise. I never thought someone would break into my car to replace things. I think they even tuned up my engine."

Tales like these have authorities in the town of Nice baffled. "Criminals seem to be putting their skills to good use," said Sgt. Tim Branson of Nice City Police Department. "Even we've been targeted." While Mr. Freemond was reporting that someone stole his car stereo and replaced it with one with one of the most respected brands in the automotive electronics industry, someone apparently sneaked into the police department. They allegedly entered the break room, and gave the police 50 dozen donuts, 2 cases of exotic coffee, a case of creamer, and all sorts of office supplies. "Not only did the burglars give us free coffee, donuts, and other supplies, even vandals are going around town repainting walls rather than tagging them," continued Sgt. Branson.

Todd Phillips, water maintenance director, said someone repainted the water tower. "We had complaints a few days back that someone had drawn crude sketches of the human anatomy on the water tank. When we dispatched a maintenance team, we found someone had already repainted the water tank, and it was a very professional job." Phillips also commented that someone saved the town a bit of money.

A nearby department store noticed that items that came up short in their previous inventory were massively overstocked in today's inventory. Angela Striker, manager of Thrift-Mart, noticed the overages. "That was just unusual. We have problems with shoplifting, but a number of folks came in today and restocked our store. Now we have to mark everything down because of limited space on the sales floor."

Parents reported that the bullies were threatening to beat up their kids if their kids didn't accept free food and money from them. "Johnny would always come home in tears because bullies beat him up, pushed him down the stairs, stole his school supplies, took his lunch money, or took his food. But today, the bullies bought him lunch, gave him about $20, and made him sit at their table."

So who are responsible for these deeds? Nobody really seems to have an idea. But most people seem to enjoy the change. Branson commented, "It is nice for a change to have people giving rather than taking, strangers helping children across the street rather than harming them, and people calling 911 to thank us rather than use profanity or call about heinous crimes. I hope it lasts."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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