Written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 30 April 2017

image for Sarah Palin Has Brain Reduction Surgery
Is Sarah Palin setting a bad example for young women by having brain reduction surgery?

Being well endowed seems to be a central part of Sarah Palin's image and persona, so many people were surprised when it was announced that she had undergone brain reduction surgery last week.

The former Alaska governor had suffered for years with back and neck pain from the weight of her endowment, and so she finally decided to have brain surgery.

Lead surgeon at Anchorage Surgical Hospital, Dr. Tonya Miner, said they were able to reduce Palin's brain weight from 4.2 lbs. to about 3 lbs.

"Ms. Palin won't miss any of the brains we took out, most of us use only ten percent anyway, some a lot less. So carrying less weight in her skull is going to make life a lot easier and we expect the patient to go back to her regular hunting schedule within a few weeks."

Palin was still unable to speak a week after the surgery as her brain was still adjusting to it's leaner and meaner configuration. But Palin still worked the crowd as she was wheeled out of the hospital on a four wheel drive wheelchair (actually an ATV).

Palin smiled and gave a thumbs up to press and supporters, then, to the delight of the crowd, Palin took apart and reassembled and AR-15 in a few minutes--just to show them she was still her old self. Next, when signing autographs, she jotted down a few trigonometric ballistic formulae for the geeks to ponder.

10 year old Janice Horsefeather showed off the autograph she got in which Palin wrote, "I'm still keeping an eye on Russia."

Monica Opalwilt, advocate for women's health, slammed Sarah Palin for the example she's set for young women.

"Our culture needs to value women's brains more, the right answer for Sarah Palin would have been to have physical therapy and an exercise regimen to strengthen her neck and reduce the stresses to it at the same time. What message does it send to our young girls when a former governor and vice presidential candidate has a pound of her brain taken off for vanity?--and mostly because she's just too lazy to try to understand the real causes of her neck and back pain."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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