Written by Andrew Froese

Sunday, 3 April 2016

Local couple Rob McLaughlin and Janet Edwards are celebrating their one year anniversary at Giorgio's, a high-end italian restaurant, and have just been informed by the server there is no endless garlic bread.

Rob and Janet, after being seated for nearly 20 minutes without a serving of garlic bread, are now in complete dismay. Rob also covered ground by asking if there were garlic breadsticks, garlic dippers or crazy bread. "Just tell me there's a non-stop complimentary starter", Rob pleaded just before being crushed to discover free appetizers are not a thing at Giorgio's.

Janet muttered, "Look at this menu: no mozza sticks, no pulled pork mac n' cheese! They GRILL their calamari. What is this bullshit?" Rob frantically checked his phone for a Groupon discount.

As of press time, the couple were deciphering the menu with their Google Translate app and looking for raspberry mango bellinis on the cocktail list.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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