Written by Tyler Roberts

Friday, 4 December 2015

NASHVILLE, TN- With the new year fast approaching, YMCA of Hendersonville announced yesterday they will be hiring 2 million seasonal employees to help combat the massive influx of people expected to make an appearance during the first week of the New Year.

"It'll be complete chaos for a few days, but after a week or so most people will have given up on their realistic and completely attainable New Years goals and resolutions and will have migrated back to their couches," stated full-time employee of 27 years, Ed Smith. "It's the same drill, year in and year out. Well intentioned people decide to start living a healthier lifestyle by exercising and eating better, but the truth is, it's just hard to stay committed."

In other news, reports are currently surfacing that retailer giant, Kroger, plans to undergo a 5 million square foot expansion to its produce department in an effort to accommodate the massive amount of people who plan to eat more fruits and vegetables during the first few days of the New Year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Health, Gym, YMCA




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