BOWLING GREEN, KY- After years of unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle, Alex Witzgall, 26, told himself he would go to the gym. Tomorrow.
"Yeah, well, I'd go this evening after work, but I have to watch the Pats game," he thought to himself as he turned on his TV in anticipation of the opening kick off.
"I think I'll order a large pizza tonight, too. With cheesy crust. Hmm, and a side of chicken poppers. You know, because I'm going to the gym tomorrow and need the energy," he rationalized as he quickly worked his thumbs logging into the Dominos app conveniently stored on his smartphone.
"Yep, big things are happening tomorrow," he said out loud as he added a justified, and well deserved, 2-liter of Coke to his order.
The next day, sources confirmed the well-intentioned and seemingly motivated man had decided to wait until January 1st to start his workout regimen, just like everybody else.