Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 14 May 2015

image for Brad Pitt casts Leonardo DiCaprio as attorney Randy Mastro in blockbuster Chevron movie
Happy 21st Jonine and Randy from all at Paradise House

Hollywood, California - "Except that Randy's way better looking," Mrs Mastro tweeted this evening as the news of Brad Pitt hiring Leonardo DiCaprio sent the price of crude rocketing another $57 a barrel.

The Wolf of Wall Street actor will star as the hot kickass NYC attorney who overturned a $19bn shakedown run by Ecuador's Rafael Correa.

Via a Nazi sockpuppet called Steven Donziger.

Pitt has just bought the rights to US journo Paul Barrett's smash-hit Law Of The Jungle for which he is rumored to have secured a working cash stash of $250m.

The blockbuster is to be set in Correa's seedy Ecuadorian back passage - uh, back yard! - where the seeds of Donziger's calumny were first sown.

Movie insiders are hinting strongly that Tom Hanks is likely to take the role of Donziger whom he'll portray true to life as a cocaine-fueled fantasist bankrolled by madmen running an environmentally-friendly racket in the name of The Lord.**

Antonio Banderas remains the even money favorite to play mad-as-a-rattlesnake-on-acid Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa.

Stay tuned for more updates on this fast-breaking bit of fluff.

**Yeah, tiresome Jesuits and other god squad freaks

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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