Written by Catchthisdrift

Thursday, 17 April 2014

image for Taylor Swift Signs Up For Online Dating In Preparation For Next Album
Benjamin Laramie: Taylor Swift's next failed relationship although he doesn't know it yet.

Nashville - Superstar singer/songwriter Taylor Swift, 24, has signed up with an online dating service to find inspiration for new songs for her as-yet unnamed new album, scheduled to be released to coincide with this year's holiday buying season.

Swift recently parted ways from her long-time publicist Paula Erickson in order to bring the publicist responsibilities "in house" to Swift's management team. This current announcement about Swift's online dating is the first major news release from the new in-house team.

Swift has a history of writing unflattering songs about her ex romantic involvements. Said the Swift team's spokesperson Angela Merkel, "Taylor is a sweet, caring and loving young woman. She opens herself up emotionally and that is often taken advantage of by unscrupulous suitors. The best way she knows to work through her emotions is to write songs about them. Those songs are simply Taylor being Taylor."

The pen, however, can swing both ways. Several of the men previously involved with Swift have either written songs themselves about her, or spoke publicly about their relationship with her. Rarely are the lyrics or statements positive about Swift or the relationship.

Said Merkel, "Taylor has never hurt anyone. The things those men say about her are abhorrent lies! They couldn't handle Taylor's commitment and love, so they lashed out at her."

Swift's new strategy is to enter the realm of online dating, select men with profiles she finds appealing, determine how they would most likely have hurt her and failed the relationship, and then write songs based on those experiences. "It removes completely the possibility of those men hurting Taylor, both during the relationship, as well as after," said Merkel. "They won't even know they were dating her, so they can't possibly lash out at her when the relationship fails."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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