Travolta Stops Fight Between Bullock And Blanchet

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

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John Travolta says that calling Idina Menzel 'Adele Dazeem' at Oscars was a disaster. "I've been beating myself up ever since," he told me in an exclusive interview. But it turns out that the aging star, who has been the object of ridicule for his gaffe, is actually an Oscar night hero.

The background, dearest reader, is that dozens of Oscar winners filled the Governor's Ball on Sunday night as winners chatted, ate and celebrated with the film industry's elite at the official Academy Awards party. Of course, I was there as always and obtained this exclusive.

i learned from John that as singer Bette Midler sang 'Ordinary People'at the ball, and as guests ate a gourmet meal by celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck, Sandra Bullock was in a hallway screaming at Oscar rival Cate Blanchet who had bested her and was clutching her statuette.

Bullock was angry because Blanchet, upon receiving the Oscar on stage, spoke into the microphone, looked at Ms. Bullock, and said, "Sandra, I could have watched your performance in 'Gravity' to the end of time and I sort of felt I had."

That smack down caused the Oscarless Bullock to stalk Blanchet in Governor's Ball hallway.

Enter John Travolta, who was on his way to the men's restroom. He stepped between them and asked the statuesque Cate to lower her just engraved Oscarette. then asked Bullock to calm down.

Bullock abruptly exited the hallway to return to her table, gamely smiling as she did. The unsung hero of the ball, Travolta, silently slid into his chair and resumed eating his Bolognese-stuffed rice balls and sipped his '82 Gainey Private Reserve Chardonnay, just at the end of Midler's singing of 'Ordinary People.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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