Christina Aguilera Admits That Now That The Weight Is Off It's Staying Off

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 23 June 2013

image for Christina Aguilera Admits That Now That The Weight Is Off It's Staying Off
Christina said that before her diet she used to eat 4 hamburgers a day; now she eats one every three weeks.

LA BREA, California - Christina Aguilera, singer and former judge on The Voice was recently spotted at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner having lunch with her hair stylist FuFi Fondue.

Aguilera informed Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that she is proud of the fact that she has lost an awful lot of weight.

Miss Zeppelin complimented her and told her that she looked great and was certain that she was getting lots of dates now that she had slimmed down.

Miss Zeppelin caught herself and commented that she did not mean to imply that just because she was huge meant that guys would not want to engage her in a bit of mattress merriment.

Aguilera agreed and said, "Hey look at Melissa McCarthy. I love that girl and it is no secret that she is as big as a Greyhound Bus, but that does not stop her hubby from playing hide the salami huh?"

Miss Z smiled politely and did not say a word. She then asked ChrisAg what her weight loss secret was. Christina put down her half order of barbecued sardine and said that she has a photo of a humongous Snooki on her refrigerator.

She then commented that the photo of the New Jersey orca whale gives her all of the incentive she needs to keep the friggin weight off.

Aguilera finished her celery stick and said she had to go and see about purchasing a skimpy swimsuit.

Zeppelin gave her a high five and told her "You go girl!"

Suggested Viewing. To view before and after photos of Christina Aguilera go to

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more