Rob Pattinson Refutes The Claim He Dated Bristol Palin

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

image for Rob Pattinson Refutes The Claim He Dated Bristol Palin
A photo that was taken of Bristol "The Pistol" Palin's truck. (Photo courtesy of Cindy McCain).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight Series movies, Rob Pattinson has stated emphatically that he never dated Bristol "The Pistol" Palin as Joy Behar of The View has suggested.

RPattz said that if he were to sit down and make out a list of females he would like to date, Bristol would not even make the list.

He giggled as he said that Nancy "Rich Girl" Pelosi and Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter would both be on the list but not Bristol.

Pattinson went on to say that he happened to see Sarah "Reindeer Breath" Palin's daughter on Dancing With The Stars and he noted that Bristol is about as graceful as a 25 pound bag of Idaho Potatoes.

The 26-year-old Pattinson added that he heard that Bristol's Dancing With The Stars dance partner Mark "The Lark" Ballas had divulged to fellow pro dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy that Miss Palin has got to be one of the worst dancers to ever appear on DWTS and that includes such horrible dancers as Macy Gray, Kenny Mayne, Kate Gosselin, Buzz Aldrin, and Master P.

SIDENOTE: RPattz revealed that he wants to squash the rampant rumors that he has forgiven Kristen (Stewart) for her affair and he has welcomed her back to share his Malibu Beach house The Vampire Villa.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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