Friends of Simon Cowell, X-Factor's "Sultan of Sarcasm" Believe He May Be Setting His Sights on New Judge Britney Spears

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

image for Friends of Simon Cowell, X-Factor's "Sultan of Sarcasm" Believe He May Be Setting His Sights on New Judge Britney Spears
Britney Spears is being paid $15 million to appear as a judge on Simon Cowell's X-Factor. (Photo by Ke$ha).

HOLLYWOOD - Now that Simon Cowell has ended his engagement to Mezhgan Hussainy, the former Afghani freedom fighter turned Hollywood makeup artist, there is talk that the X-Factor mogul may be on the passion prowl.

Friends of the man with the Midas touch truly believe that he may have a bit of a crush on his brand new X-Factor judge Britney Spears.

Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight recently spoke with the man of a dozen nicknames including "The Viceroy of Venom" as the two had dinner at Hollywood's trendy Le Loins of Joan of Arc French Restaurant.

The British native feasted on a plate of Paté de Foie Gras (Goose Liver Paté) while de Gallo had the very popular Cuisses de Grenouilles (Frog Legs).

Both enjoyed the Black Fungus Mushroom Truffles Hors D'oeuvres as well as a unique California inspired ensemble of Refried French Fries.

Cowell, the English bon vivant ordered a bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild Pauillac 1986 ($593).

De Gallo asked Simon if he had filled the second vacant judges position yet. Cowell smiled and replied that he had not. He then grinned and added that he is thrilled beyond belief that Britney Spears has agreed to take Paula Abdul's former judges position.

The 3T reporter asked Simon if Miss Spears would be sitting next to him at the X-Factor judges table. And the man noted for wearing very simple black T-shirts, and who is reportedly worth $320 million asked, "Is the English Channel wet?"

"Gotcha." Came the reply from de Gallo.

It is no secret out on the Left Coast that Simon Cowell has had a special spot for Britney ever since she returned from the Land of Down Under after the infamous Australian Lip Syncing Scandal of 2009.

Even though many of Britney's closest friends turned their backs on the blonde songstress Simon was there taking her hand and providing a shoulder and other choice body parts for her to cry on.

The two reportedly even took a trip down to Cabo San Lucas where they stayed for a whole week at the luxuriously exquisite Whole Enchilada Hotel & Spa.

Simon remarked to de Gallo that he hopes to name the new judge within the next two or three weeks.

Meanwhile he says that he has been keeping in touch with Miss Britney via emails, text messages, phone calls, and a bit of sexting.

SIDENOTE: Britney Spears recently told The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that the three men whom she admires the most are her father, Vice-President Joe Biden, and Simon Cowell.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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