Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 6 January 2012

image for X-Factor's Simon Cowell Admits He's Thinking About Replacing Nicole Scherzinger With Cheryl Cole
Nicole Scherzinger (shown above) may be out as an X-Factor judge. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Word on the streets of LaLaLand is that the X-Factor mogul and judge Simon Cowell is contemplating making a big change for next season.

According to iRumors Cowell AKA "The Prince of Put Downs" stated that he has received lots of complaints that Nicole (Scherzinger) cannot go three minutes without crying or mentioning the words universe, gift, goose bumps, chills, the big O, or good golly gee whiz.

"The Count of Criticism" also noted that many people have also expressed the fact that Scherzinger uses way too much spray on tanning spray and that the shininess causes weird shadows on the television screens.

One woman, who gave her name as Bernice Lulu Tucklebuckle of Waxahachie, Texas, remarked that at times she feels like she's watching an episode of The Twilight Zone but in color.

The 87-year-old Texan said that the glare would get so bad that she would have to actually use her granddaughter Midol Jolene's Oakley sunglasses.

Cheryl Cole was contacted by Loretta Piffinshaw of England's Ta Ta For Now News and said that she is certainly open to returning to work with Simon Cowell and that she is going to do her best to lose her Geordie accent and work on getting a Southern California accent.

Chezza as Cole is known also grinned and promised tongue-in-cheek that her skirts will be a whole lot shorter than Nicole's were and that she is not planning on wearing any knickers (panties).

This late breaking news just in. A very reliable source has just reported that Michele Bachmann has been taken to the hospital after she was found in the parking lot of a Burger Queen in Minneapolis shouting out to patrons that she misses campaigning and she does not know if she can get over the fact that she got her butt politically kicked all over the great corn state of Iowa.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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