Jim Carrey Mimes His Way Into Love

Friday, 30 December 2011

image for Jim Carrey Mimes His Way Into Love

Jim Carrey has been active on the dating scene recently, culminating in his new role as the strict sugardaddy to Russian college student Anastasia Vitkina, more affectionately known as "the whole wheat sugar baby."

They met this Winter in New York by happenstance, as Jim was observed busy with his new "9 to 5" -- preying on the many nearby college campuses. Their first encounter was highlighted by her hysterical Ace Ventura nostalgia, imagining the famed pet detective nursing swarms of dangerous animals.

Summoning his role in "The Mask," Jim Carrey let his natural showbiz grace shine, graphically contorting on New York City rooftops while absorbing the holiday scenery. These random convulsive gestures captured her heart, starting a spontaneous loving relationship.

An argument can be made for Jim Carrey as the ideal partner for Ms. Vitkina. At Christmas, he becomes a silent comedian, miming his way through family games of holiday charades. Their travels as a couple are also a success, resulting in the girlfriend mumbling incoherently through a thick Russian accent, with Jim feverishly flapping through a map with comical precision. After all, even the gangliest goofballs deserve to find Russian expressions of love sometimes, kapeesh?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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