Kat Von D To Host A New Reality Game Show Called, "Celebrity Crotch Tattoos"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 19 December 2011


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Magnolia "Inky" Hoobinger will be the announcer for "Celebrity Crotch Tattoos."

HOLLYWOOD - One of the most tattooed women in America has just agreed to be the host of her very own reality game show.

Kat Von D, the ex-future wife of "Messy" Jesse James spoke with Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld and told her that production on the Epitome Network show will begin in January.

Miss Von D said that she is as happy as an overweight hooker in a lumberjack camp to be able to get back on television. Her recent show, Cooking With Kat was cancelled after only airing three episodes.

Kat was told by the shows producer that the reason the show was cancelled was because of her language. She was made aware of the fact that viewers of cooking shows do not like to hear the host say things like, "Okay so then you get a few dashes of friggin salt and you sprinkle it on the mother effen leg of lamb."

Von D said that she really did not realize that she was using that kind of language since that is the way she always talks unless she's talking to someone like Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, or Ke$ha.

Miss Wine asked what the premise of her new show would be. She grinned and said that the show will feature well-known celebrities from the world of television, movies, the recording industry, and sports.

Each episode will showcase four popular celebrities who will talk openly about their very intimate groin region tattoos. They will describe the ink art in full detail, stating when and why they got it and what they and others think about their special pubic area ink creation.

Kat pointed out that only one of the celebrities will actually have the tattoo that he or she has described and that the other three will simply have made the lap art up.

The audience members will then get to vote on which celebrity they think is telling the truth and really has the tattoo that he or she has described in full, explicit detail.

If the audience chooses the correct celebrity then that celebrity will receive an all-expenses paid six-days and six-nights deluxe vacation trip for two to Ryan Seacrest's and Steven Tyler's brand new Puffy Taco Resort & Casino located in beautiful Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

The winning celebrity will also receive $2,000 in spending money, a $1,000 gift certificate good at any Burger Bandit in America, and the keys to a brand new fully loaded 2012 KIA Spectra.

FOOTNOTE: Kat Von D stated that the show's producers have hired Gary Busey to be her on-the-air sidekick.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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