Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 17 November 2011

image for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, Starring Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner Opens To Record Breaking Crowds!
The latest Twilight movie is expected to break the 2005 popcorn sales record set by "The March of The Penguins."

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The Gladiator 24 Movie Complex in West Hollywood had the latest Twilight Saga series film The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, showing in 14 of the 24 theater auditorium screens.

Theater manager Cumberland "Captain Popcorn" Tickletuck said that the previous screen high was 6, back in 1997, when the movie Titanic premiered.

Tickeltuck spoke with Cahoots Wyoming of Silver Screen Magazine and he told him that due to the tremendous business that the vampire movie starring Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner generated he had to hire an extra 18 security guards, 10 extra ticket takers, 20 extra ushers, and 12 extra popcorn poppers.

He also pointed out that cell phones were not allowed in any of the theaters. He said that he hired several retired FBI agents who live in the Greater Los Angeles area to personally frisk all movie goers.

Tickeltuck noted that the cell phones were stored in one of the theater complexes large storage rooms where they store the cheese for the movie nachos.

Wyoming asked him about the rumor that Rob Pattinson AKA RPattz would be attending one of the showings. Tickeltuck replied that he knew absolutely nothing about that.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Ryan Seacrest and asked him about the rumor and he stated that Pattinson will definitely be in attendance at one of the 14 theater auditoriums but that he will be wearing an amazing disquise.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
68 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more