Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for Twilight Star Rob Pattinson Explains The Shockingly Lewd Photos of Him and Kristen Stewart
The Giggle Giggle Comedy Club is located right across from New Orleans' famous Hotel Ooh La La.

NEW ORLEANS - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight Saga series flew down to "The Big Easy" with a couple of his long time friends to celebrate the fact that one of his friends recently got divorced.

All three partied on Bourbon Street and spent some time at The Giggle Giggle Comedy Club which is owned by Harry Connick, Jr. and Ellen DeGeneres.

Stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree was on stage performing and after he finished his routine he joined Pattinson and his party.

Dupree is also a part time reporter for iRumors and is the older brother of Voodoo Dupree who is a reporter with The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette.

After Dupree sat down RPattz asked him what he thought about Herman Cain. The comedian took a sip from his Hurricane and replied that he was not there to talk about Herman "Prince Charming" Cain.

When asked why he called him "Prince Charming," Dupree laughed and said that he had heard from an unnamed, highly reliable, inside source that Herman Cain's wife, Mrs. Herman Cain refers to him by the name "Prince Charming" whenever they are in the privacy of their bedroom doing a bit of belly bumpin'.

Dupree went on to say that it is his understanding that "PizzaGate" Gals #1, #3, and #4 have all said that "Cain The Vane" as they all called him behind his back, used to pride himself by saying that in a certain department he had the physical power of a T-shirt cannon.

RPattz said that Cain needs to start using the more appropriate nickname of "Tiger" Cain.

Dupree agreed adding that "PizzaGate" Gal #2 has revealed that Cain's 9-9-9 tax code actually comes from the fact that he had asked her to grade him on looks, sexiness, and performance.

She said that she gave him three 9's and that is where the term 9-9-9 first came to be.

RPattz was asked about the recent shockingly lewd photos of him and his Twilight Saga co-star Kristen Stewart that recently appeared on the Internet.

He took a sip from his Singapore Sling and stated that he had just seen the photos that morning and that he wants everyone to know that they are definitely photoshopped.

When Dupree asked him how he could prove it, Rob replied that it was very easy. He then pulled down his pants, and his boxer shorts, and showed his party that unlike the photos on the Internet, he does not have a tattoo of a Komodo dragon tattooed on his scrotum.

"You gotta damn good point there dude." Dupree remarked. "A-damn-good- point."

In a non-related story. Walmart is recalling 3,000 Michele Bachmann Bobblehead Dolls because the toy doll was actually pretty and Michele Bachmann is...ah...well you know.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Rob Pattinson

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
51 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more