Jesus wept! Japan's very own 'Merovingian' line blames tremor on apostasy

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

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Eat yer heart out, Dan Brown, the Japanese got there before you

Aomori Prefecture, Japan - Prepare for an imminent Imperial Abdication to atone for failures in the Sendai earthquake horror.

That's the message today from descendants of Jesus and local Shingo girl Miyuko who say last Friday's 8.9 quake was predicted by the Messiah, buried locally alongside his brother Isukiri.

The Herai clan has also warned that Japan is on the brink of total wipeout following millenia of Imperial apostate dishonor of the sacred lineage.

Their claims form part of ancient Japanese legend that Jesus fled from Jerusalem and came to Aomori where he married, became a rice farmer and had three lovely daughters.

Imperial recognition of the Jesus dynasty was never in the frame because Japan's emperors were a smug and conceited lot, ever vying to our-God the Almighty.

The row eventually boiled over in 1935 when Jesus' Last Will & Testament documents were discovered in Japan, sending shockwaves through the Imperial Heisai dynasty.

Emperor Hirohit-ho is said to have personally ordered the papers' destruction, although this was partially foiled by a copy of the papers made by lineage descendants.

A sneak preview of the documents is unequivocal: perpetuation of the cover-up was forseen by the Messiah who predicted Japan's catastrophe in the face of the nation's denial.

Princess Masako is daft as a brush.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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