In-Store Christmas Music Causes "Smack In The Mouth" Syndrome

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Thursday, 18 November 2010

image for In-Store Christmas Music Causes "Smack In The Mouth" Syndrome

Some 73 per cent of shoppers would rather shops waited until December before playing Christmas music.

A survey of more than 2,000 shoppers also revealed that more than 60 per cent were not prompted to start their Christmas shopping by Christmas tunes.

But what the survey commissioners have not published is some of the more serious findings.

Papers shown to EIF News & Features reveal some very surprising reactions.

One survey respondent wrote: "When I was in traipsing round West End department stores looking for a jacket the other day, I heard bloody Bing Crosby singing White Christmas so many times, by the time I was finished I wanted to smack someone in the mouth."

Another said: "If I hear that f****** Last Christmas by Wham! in a shop again this year, I'm going to rip someone's head off!"

A spokesman for the survey company said: "Yes, we've labelled this reaction the 'Smack in the Mouth' syndrome and it's very worrying.

"We plan to survey actual store employees next because we have anecdotal evidence of staff 'losing it' when they hear Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody for the 15th time."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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