Francophobe Hails Champs Elysees Retail Plans

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 2 October 2010

image for Francophobe Hails Champs Elysees Retail Plans
Soon to be seen on the Champs Elysees?

A top Francophobe is planning to bring a swish Paris shopping street down a peg or two.

UK retail magnate, Mick "Stack 'Em Up" Envelope, has welcomed the news that low-ticket clothing shop H&M has been given permission to open a store on the Champs Elysees.

"This is a terrific development," he says. "A bunch of up-themselves French so-called culture experts have been trying to stop this but the courts have finally allowed H&M to go ahead."

The Swedish group had to fight a two-year battle in the French courts to win permission to open their store among some of the chicest stores in the capital. French culture purists feared such a development would make the street a hang-out for chavs - or la caillera.

Now Envelope has formed a consortium of retailers, Let's Stick It To Froggy, which plans to open further low-ticket stores on the famous street.

"You watch... we're going to get Primark, TK Maxx, Macdonald's, a couple of Wetherspoon's pubs going on there. Those snobby Parisian gits won't know what's hit them!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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