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Funny story: H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer

H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer

The fashion clothing retailer, H&M, are said to be considering a namechange for their brand, after it was revealed that many of their customers are under the impression that the company is run by the Manchester United and England central defender...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...

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Funny story: Population unpopular with Targette

Population unpopular with Targette

Minneapolis, Minnesota ---- As part of its "population control program," discount retailer Targette, which has already equipped its stores with transgender bathrooms, "because," as the company's CEO, Brian C. "Big Bri" Cornhole, explained to star rep...

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Funny story: Christmas Aisles Cleared From Supermarkets

Christmas Aisles Cleared From Supermarkets

U.K Supermarkets have all followed each other in a gaffe caused by a "night staff" manager in Fresco. Overnight shelf stackers have replaced all Christmas items on the shelves of major supermarkets with Easter eggs. Most people have experienced th...

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Funny story: Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Teen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels

Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...

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Funny story: All-Saints Employees Causing Relationship Issues

All-Saints Employees Causing Relationship Issues

New research has revealed the biggest reason for couples arguing during shopping are the over-flirtatious employees of All-Saints. Up until recently it was the total time spent shopping, impulse purchases, or the total amount spent that would mos...

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Funny story: Albertsons buys Safeways

Albertsons buys Safeways

NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- As more states move to legalize "medical marijuana" use, Albertsons will purchase Safeway in an attempt to "take on" Walmart, and the two supermarket chains will compete as one against the world's largest retailer (yes, that wou...

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Funny story: Walmart Wants To Sponsor NASA's Next Space Shuttle

Walmart Wants To Sponsor NASA's Next Space Shuttle

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail store has just contacted the National Aeronautics Space Administration about a business proposition. Walmart spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace stated that the Walton family has decided that they w...

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Funny story: Some Walmarts Will Begin Selling Automobiles

Some Walmarts Will Begin Selling Automobiles

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail giant is getting ready to revolutionize the retail store industry. Walmart Spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace has unveiled Walmart's new "We Got It All" policy by revealing that the retail franchis...

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Funny story: Walmart Is Closing Its One Store In North Korea

Walmart Is Closing Its One Store In North Korea

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail store has just stated that they will be closing its North Korean Walmart on January 3, 2014. A spokesperson for the retail giant said that the company was reporting an average of 15 shopping carts...

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Funny story: Denny's and J.C. Penney's To Merge And Become Denny Penneys

Denny's and J.C. Penney's To Merge And Become Denny Penneys

PLANO, Texas - Retail giant J.C. Penney, which is headquarted in Plano, Texas has just announced a big corporate merger. Penney's will be merging with the Denny's restaurant chain to form a new corporation which is being called Denny Penney's.

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Funny story: The Retail Test

The Retail Test

To get a little extra cash, I decided to take on a sales job at night - right after my usual nine to five gig. I wanted to buy this girl a ring with a jewel in it. To be quite honest, I wanted to steal a nice ring with a jewel in it. I figured the best way to do this would be to get a jeweler's sales job. So I applied at several stores and after a month passed, Swearingen & Acme Jewelry Re...

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Funny story: Nude Britney Spears Bobblehead Dolls Are Being Recalled

Nude Britney Spears Bobblehead Dolls Are Being Recalled

CHICAGO - In what is being billed as one of the biggest retail mistakes in the history of the retailing business, millions of Britney Spears Bobblehead Dolls are being recalled. Three of the nation's largest retail stores, the Dilly Dally Retail S...

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Funny story: Retail Theory 101: We Deliver Great Customer Service. So, Please Wipe Your Ass With Our Merchandise. Part 1.

Retail Theory 101: We Deliver Great Customer Service. So, Please Wipe Your Ass With Our Merchandise. Part 1.

The current state of retail customer service in the United States is such that one can go into any retail chain in the country, take a shit on the floor in the middle of the Seasonal section, and the Store Manager will feel obligated to bring you a Wet-Nap.* The answer, BTW? Ames, Bradlees, Caldor, Cornet, Gemci, G. C. Murphy, Rite-Aid, H.L.Greens, Hudson Brothers, Eckerds, Korvettes, J.G. McCrory...

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Funny story: The New Demi Lovato Blonde Bobblehead Dolls Are Flying Off The Retail Store Shelves

The New Demi Lovato Blonde Bobblehead Dolls Are Flying Off The Retail Store Shelves

CHICAGO - The Word Consumer Product Agency has just announced their February consumer focus report. Vinton Onionzook spokesperson for The Word stated that the nation's current product purchasing trend is definitely leaning towards the brand new De...

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Funny story: £740 million expansion plans by the Two Nottingham Malls - With Citizen's Views

£740 million expansion plans by the Two Nottingham Malls - With Citizen's Views

In the middle of this depression, and with the highest levels ever known of unemployed in Nottingham, the two owners of Nottingham's shopping centres plan to expand! Victoria Shopping Centre - Nottingham Management Comment: We believe it is a good time to invest in the Victoria Centre and Nottingham. Their proposals: * An additional 500,000sq feet extension. * £240+ million investm...

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Funny story: Six Nations Showdown Day: Retailers On The Brink

Six Nations Showdown Day: Retailers On The Brink

Will England win the Grand Slam or will the Irish spoil the party? Can the Welsh triumph in France and sneak the title? Italy to beat he Scots anyone? Can retailers survive seven hours of fully-televised Six Nations rugby union? The shopping...

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