The fashion clothing retailer, H&M, are said to be considering a namechange for their brand, after it was revealed that many of their customers are under the impression that the company is run by the Manchester United and England central defender...
Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...
Minneapolis, Minnesota ---- As part of its "population control program," discount retailer Targette, which has already equipped its stores with transgender bathrooms, "because," as the company's CEO, Brian C. "Big Bri" Cornhole, explained to star rep...
U.K Supermarkets have all followed each other in a gaffe caused by a "night staff" manager in Fresco. Overnight shelf stackers have replaced all Christmas items on the shelves of major supermarkets with Easter eggs. Most people have experienced th...
Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...
New research has revealed the biggest reason for couples arguing during shopping are the over-flirtatious employees of All-Saints. Up until recently it was the total time spent shopping, impulse purchases, or the total amount spent that would mos...
NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- As more states move to legalize "medical marijuana" use, Albertsons will purchase Safeway in an attempt to "take on" Walmart, and the two supermarket chains will compete as one against the world's largest retailer (yes, that wou...
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail store has just contacted the National Aeronautics Space Administration about a business proposition. Walmart spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace stated that the Walton family has decided that they w...
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail giant is getting ready to revolutionize the retail store industry. Walmart Spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace has unveiled Walmart's new "We Got It All" policy by revealing that the retail franchis...
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail store has just stated that they will be closing its North Korean Walmart on January 3, 2014. A spokesperson for the retail giant said that the company was reporting an average of 15 shopping carts...
PLANO, Texas - Retail giant J.C. Penney, which is headquarted in Plano, Texas has just announced a big corporate merger. Penney's will be merging with the Denny's restaurant chain to form a new corporation which is being called Denny Penney's.
To get a little extra cash, I decided to take on a sales job at night - right after my usual nine to five gig. I wanted to buy this girl a ring with a jewel in it. To be quite honest, I wanted to steal a nice ring with a jewel in it. I figured the best way to do this would be to get a jeweler's sales job. So I applied at several stores and after a month passed, Swearingen & Acme Jewelry Re...
CHICAGO - In what is being billed as one of the biggest retail mistakes in the history of the retailing business, millions of Britney Spears Bobblehead Dolls are being recalled. Three of the nation's largest retail stores, the Dilly Dally Retail S...
The current state of retail customer service in the United States is such that one can go into any retail chain in the country, take a shit on the floor in the middle of the Seasonal section, and the Store Manager will feel obligated to bring you a Wet-Nap.* The answer, BTW? Ames, Bradlees, Caldor, Cornet, Gemci, G. C. Murphy, Rite-Aid, H.L.Greens, Hudson Brothers, Eckerds, Korvettes, J.G. McCrory...
CHICAGO - The Word Consumer Product Agency has just announced their February consumer focus report. Vinton Onionzook spokesperson for The Word stated that the nation's current product purchasing trend is definitely leaning towards the brand new De...
In the middle of this depression, and with the highest levels ever known of unemployed in Nottingham, the two owners of Nottingham's shopping centres plan to expand! Victoria Shopping Centre - Nottingham Management Comment: We believe it is a good time to invest in the Victoria Centre and Nottingham. Their proposals: * An additional 500,000sq feet extension. * £240+ million investm...
Will England win the Grand Slam or will the Irish spoil the party? Can the Welsh triumph in France and sneak the title? Italy to beat he Scots anyone? Can retailers survive seven hours of fully-televised Six Nations rugby union? The shopping...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
