GM IPO Just Another Obama Shell Game to Cost Taxpayers!

Funny story written by Morse

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for GM IPO Just Another Obama Shell Game to Cost Taxpayers!
Marine I Flying Obama to UAW Retreat for Some Winter Basketball on $37M Taxpayer Investment!

United Auto Union Workers celebrating the latest Ponzi scheme from deep in Michigan at their Black Lake Golf Course and Planning Center, announced that the upcoming GM IPO would help fund their Pensions for at least 6 more months!

With Obama owning 60.8% of the union controlled and managed failed car company, and the Union owning 17.8%, the upcoming IPO will bring in $9-13B to the Al Gore Green Hedge Fund managing the offering, while bringing in Billions as the UAW share.

Financial experts have critiqued the GM takeover and concluded that the only reason Obama stepped in stripping widows, pensioners and suppliers of their equity, was to preserve the Union pension fund which is currently $27B underfunded, and growing.

Meanwhile, Union Dues has gone to the $33M Black Lake compound, which is inaccessible in the winter, and has generated $23M in losses the past 5 years.

Recently renamed "Obamorama" after it's prime sponsor, the facility is nestled in 1000 remote acres, featuring a high end golf course, private suites, a basketball court, soccer and soft ball fields, and state of the art gym and spa.

Obamorama is just one of the schemes where UAW officials pissed away millions of workers dues, then passed the bill over to the taxpayers in the government takeover.

There was the failed Detroit airline that lasted just one year before being grounded by the Fed for being "unsafe'....how's that for confidence in UAW built high speed cars!

There was the aborted RADIO STATION, kind of like "Air Chavez" where no one wanted to listen to continued union indoctrination infomercials that also cost millions.

If anyone wonders how the Chicago Game is played, just think, Obama & Geithner are valuing GM at $25-29 a share, while Ford, the company that didn't take a bailout closed at just over $15 yesterday.

Ford sales were up 15% while GM was up just 4% and Ford shares have risen 52% this year on profitability and customer satisfaction.

If that wasn't enough, the sweet heart deal arranged by Geithner insures that GM WON'T BE PAYING ANY CORPORATE TAXES FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS after being allowed to carry back "LOSSES'...Losses that cost them nothing when they wiped out stock, bond, and supplier equity!

Wonder how Ford execs feel about THAT special interest deal....and they're still beating the socks off GM!

Odds are on Obama & Geithner beating up on Bank of America, JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley and Citi to subscribe all the shares....which will ultimately be backed , once again, by US taxpayers after in his last official act as House Banking Chairman Barney Frank negotiates a deal for Fannie & Freddie to back the 'investments.'

Meanwhile in California, "Moonbeam" Jerry Brown in his role as new Governor promises a bigger investment in' Green Yobs' to turn the country around.

In his first official act he promised to buy the entire 500 Chevy Volt run to be used by Parole Officers and Social Welfare Workers, "so they could get around more economically to service the majority of our citizens!"

Linda Ronstadt was also on hand doing her own rendition of "Moonbeam Becomes You " with the haunting lyrics including:


'Moonbeam' becomes you - it goes with your hair
You certainly know the right thing to wear

'Moonbeam' becomes you - I'm thrilled at the sight
And I could get so stoned with you tonight

You're all dressed up to go California dreaming
Now don't you tell me I'm wrong
What a night to go toking
Mind if I tag along

And if I say: "I love you" - I want you to know
It's not just because you mooned me - although
'Moonbeam' becomes you so"

Since the election California border states have been inundated by formerly employed Californians leaving in droves to avoid the upcoming fiscal tsunami.

Responding to a claim by "Moonbeam" that things will turn around for the economy, one resident who packed up and left said," Fuck Him....I can't be ARSED anymore!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more