London - (ReUterus): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has been subpoenaed to testify at Diana's inquest.
The move follows evidence from the Princess's former divorce lawyer, Maggie Rae, who grassed him up as party to a republican plot to make Wee Little Willy Windsor king after the death of the Monarch.
Coroner Lord Justice Scott Baker also heard depositions originally published in TheSpoof.com that the current Prince William incarnation is in fact Blair's grandson.
This was confirmed by Royal Protection Squad officers who said the lookalike had been hastily shooed in as a doppelganger replacement shortly after Diana's eldest son by Pretender to the Throne Prince Charles was killed by his father during one crack cocaine-fuelled night of insanity in 1985.
Luckily Blair's own hush-hush son, the impostor known as David Cameron, leader of the UK Tory Party, just happened to have fathered an almost identical replica of Wee Little Willie Windsor after a broom-cupboard fling with a bastard daughter of Tessa Jowl,
"You can easily trace the facial characteristics of British Fascist Party leader Oswald Mosely in the Blair grandson's features," the hushed court heard.
Blair has now been indicted and will appear to testify next week.
Failure to turn up would constitute a contempt of court "and could mean his new five million dollar JP Morgan handout could be frozen by the Fraud Squad" until he obeys the inquest subpoena.
Camilla is under sedition.