Off the Wall Street - (Sleaze Mess): "At last I have found my true spiritual home," ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair said today referring to his hiring as a $20,000 per-week slush-fund adviser to top US sleazebroker JP Morgan.
Blair said he was drawn to the appointment after years of admiration for the company's employee perks policy.
This will mean a swish Manhattan penthouse with its own private helipad for him and wife Cherie, a no-limits his-n-hers credit card, chauffeur-driven limos and the chance to sell off his entire personal UK mortgage portfolio to wipe out any potential property-associated litigation debts in Great Britain.
"The Downtown apartment's bit more upmarket than my last bivouac in Ramallah High Street working for the Kabbala Illuminati," Blair chortled, "and even has its own outdoor lavatory!
"No, I'm just pulling your leg. That was the last place that the 'Quartet' guys had me holed up in. Nearly led to a divorce because of the plumbing arrangements."
Blair's new paymasters are reputed to have an enviable record of doshing up US fraudster organizations like WorldCom and Enron and are clearly delighted at their latest acquisition.
"The global sleazepit feeding trough arrangements are pretty over-crowded, sure," a company PR said today, "but there's always the chance to squeeze in a Newby if the price is right."
