GLASGOW - Failed music store 'Fopp', who so candidly went into administration, closed down all their shops and left hundreds of workers unpaid - has now been demoted to making flip-flops (sandals for you Americans, or is it the other way round? But they're definitely not thongs!) for the Hot British Summer: sales expect to be poor.
Fopp follows in the foot steps (ha ha) of many other companies who have completely diversified, i.e. Nokia went from tyres to phones, Microsoft went from good computers to bad computers, Michael Jackson went from being black to white and so on and so forth.
Remarkably, CEO Gordon Montgomery is fairly upbeat about the sudden change in production, "There isn't much difference between CD's and Flip-Flops anyway," he said with a beaming smile, "Both are flat, often flimsy, low cost products that are not particularly needed but still have high profit margins!"
Fopp (or 'Flopp' as it is now known) is just one recent example of a poor, poor high street shop being demolished by the big evil internet, with it's fat greedy Amazon.com and e-bay.com. It makes me sick. If anyone ever caught me using the internet... why, I would quite happily pixelarize myself into an online picture of Gordon Brown for the rest of my life.
In short - will 'Flopp' flop? Yes.
The High Street is dead.
Long live the New High Street.