LANCASTER, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – ABC News and CNN have both recently reported that the pretzel business is booming.
Sales of the salt-covered pastry have already surpassed the national sales of Fried Spinach, Emu-Meat Hot Dogs, and Enchiladas-on-a-Stick.
Executives with Auntie Anne have announced that, in a budget-tightening move, they have decided to cut back 7 grains of salt on each pretzel.
They estimate that this little move, alone, will mean a net saving of $3.9 million per year.
Auntie Anne has divulged that they have perfected a much healthier grain of salt, which actually has 81% less sodium.
Auntie Anne's is thrilled to announce that they have just signed a $6.4 million contract with the Dallas Cowboys.