NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has revealed that due to the fact that the founder and CEO of My Pillow, Mark Lindell is a total and complete asshole, over 28,000 people who purchased his pillow are now demanding a full refund.
One couple who purchased two of the pillows, Cletus and Carrie Muffinweather, stated that the My Pillow is not really all that, and both were quick to add that even if the damn pillow was the best effen pillow in the entire universe, they don’t want to keep them because Mark “Looney” Lindell is nothing but a whining, lying, mothereffen, crybaby piece of gopher shit liar.
Lindell responded by saying that he resents being called a liar.
Meanwhile, a Wisconsin-based group calling themselves The My Pillow Haters of The Wonderful Cheese State of Wisconsin, have gone on record as saying that if the coyote-ugly Lindell does not return their money, they will go to his house and toilet paper the shit out of it (no pun intended).
In Happier News. The American Clowns of America Union has just announced that they have settled their lawsuit against The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus for $27.3 million.