Wednesday, 1 August 2018


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image for Bally Elliot set to challenge stereotypes
Distended testes are fertile ground for comedy

Today sees the release of a groundbreaking film which challenges stereotypes and explores the opportunities available to a disabled boy. "Bally Elliot" was written by Geoff Film and is a film about an 11 year old boy from a run-down former mining town in the North-East of England who wishes to become a ballet dancer.

Ballet dancing used to be seen as effeminate by many northern Englanders, although in the 21st century, such attitudes are fast disappearing. Nowadays, male ballet dancers are as common than ex-miners in Newcastle and nobody cares about them.

Unlike other 11 year old boy ballet dancers, Bally Elliot has a disability. His testicles are the size of grapefruit, which causes him great discomfort and are hard to hide behind a leotard.

"Why Bally," says his father, "Yer knackers are sticking oot like a pair o' tits on a woman. I'm not sure I want ye dancing in front o' people looking like that."

Yet Bally pursues his dream and finally gets a chance to dance with the National Ballet. There he performs an excruciating version of The Nutcracker, and leaves the audience with tears in their eyes.

His father finally comes to accept him for who he is. "Why Bally," he says, "I always thought ye'd end up being a model for space hoppers, but I'm glad ye've found yus place."

Bally Elliot is out in cinemas now.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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