The new craze of upskirting has figured prominently in next year's Spring collections of many of the world's foremost fashion designers, some of whom have used rather less fabric than they did in last season's skirt designs.
Upskirting is the exciting new way of introducing oneself to a potential female suitor, and is catching on in a big way worldwide. Boys think it's fun, and girls seem to like it, too, with many wearing shorter-and-shorter skirts to facilitate the sordid practice.
Top designers including Lagerfeld, Versace, Dior and Yves Saint Laurent are all rumored to be interested in the rebellious new style, as is one-time punk designer, Vivienne Westwood.
She, at least, has been busy designing upskirt-friendly clothes, and has come up with one skirt that is so short, that it looks like a belt. This is the Union Jack Upskirt, which will retail at around £300.
Other houses are set to follow suit.
The Spoof's Fashion Correspondent, Mike Hunt, said:
"2019 is going to be very interesting for upskirters. One of the racier designers is currently working on something they're calling the Sexual Misconduct Skirt, which won't leave much to the imagination, and others are thinking along the same lines. It's going to be an exciting summer for crotchsnoopers."