Chancellor Georgie MacOsbourne was today jubilant after accountants totted up Scotland's declared wealth. An immediate windfall tax has been approved of £100 per year per Scottish person.
The normally canny and some say downright mean Scottish people became fervently patriotic during the run up to the doomed referendum, forgot themselves and publicly disclosed billions of pounds worth of oil assets and other wealth. The Selective Scotsperson Tax will mean that the ever growing numbers of British Royal Family scroungers can be financed with the additional cash. If there is any cash left after millions of pounds worth of Royal Family handouts an extra "agency" nurse will be employed part time in London to help in the administration of Private Health Care arrangements.
A psychiatrist told our tax and money reporter this morning, "Normally whiskey acts to a limited degree as a potent truth drug with Scottish folk, but combined with a patriotic "Braveheart" syndrome, they seem to own up to everything".