Washington, DC - Americans won't have Capitalism to kick around anymore. The economic system that built the nation is calling it quits, scheduled to retire next month, when Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke steps down. In an impromptu news conference, sta...
President Obama is expected to announce actor Nicolas Cage as the new chairman of the Federal Reserve System later today in Washington. Current Fed chairman Ben Bernanke is stepping down, and will likely accept a lucrative position with one of the...
Washington DC - According to anonymous sources close to Bernanke, he is selling all the securities, all the stocks, bonds, realestate, and gold that he purchased with the Federal Reserve System. Why? According to sources, Bernanke is leaving the...
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Korean dictator Kim Jong Un are the top two contenders for the Lunatic of the Year Award presented by the Nobal Friends of Bedlam. The NFB was created by several eccentric members of the Nobal Peace Prize Com...
According to a joint press release from the United States Treasury and Federal Reserve the White House Easter Egg Roll will proceed as normal, albeit with some minor changes from last year. Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board of Governors, Ben B...
NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...
Athens - Don't stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe's economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. "Greek yogurt has more protein than regular yogurt. It tastes...
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
MUNICH - Ben Bernanke announced at a press conference here today that he was sorry. No more money could be funneled through the central banks of Europe to keep the stock markets afloat. He blamed it on democracy, as exemplified in Greece. "Now...
New York City - The collective IQ of Wall Street executives has dropped below the mental retardation level for the first time ever, prompting the Federal Reserve to impose the "too dumb to fall" provisions of the Barney Frank Act. Implementing a s...
Fans of the 2008 World Cup will remember the stunning track record of Paul the Octopus, who predicted 8/8 World Cup final results by selecting mussels out of one of two boxes. Shortly after his predictive victory Paul was declared dead and his remain...
Federal Reserve Bank Chairman Ben Bernanke has announced a new round of quantitative easing to be termed Unquantitative Easing. Treasury Department Spokesmen said that the amount to be added to the money supply will be 'too much to count'. They ad...
Amid reports of the strengthening U.S. Dollar, and reports of financial market adjustments proposed by Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, the price of golf fell significantly in open trading today, forcing at least one man to be rushed to hospit...
After sixteen consecutive quarters of shockingly incorrect calls on the state of U.S. economy, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke said this week's press conference would be his final sorry attempt at making predictions about the financial d...
Washington - In an attempt to stimulate the US economy, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke gives Americans the thumbs-up to begin using Monopoly money. At a Fed press conference Monday morning, Bernanke encouraged Americans to, "Pass Go, collect $...
Wednesday night our colleagues at WikiSquirts New York Bureau happened upon a bizarre (and frankly disturbing) sight at the swanky eatery davidburke & donatella on Manhattan's Park Avenue. At first glance, it appeared to be a much older man...
In a press conference at the steps of the Federal Reserve Bank, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke announced today that as of November 15th 2010 Monopoly Money will be accepted at par value with the US Dollar. Shortly after his announcement Monopoly Games...
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