Trump Trip Off As Deadly Trompette Fungus Materialises In American Ambassador’s Plumbing
London, UK - (Trompe l’Oeil Mess): A lethal fungal eruption on Woody Johnson’s lush front turd - uh, turf - has thrown into doubt next month’s Trump visit the US embassy’s resident toxicologist said today. Spores from the ‘Trompette de la Mort’ (...
Read full storyWorld's most hated whale safe from extinction
The South Arctic Thick-beaked Ass Whale has been registered as endangered since 1961, but is now safe from extinction, according to the UN Whale Counting Board. The Thick-beaked Ass Whale is peculiar for its hideous appearance and for being the only...
Read full storyLaw Firm Mistakenly Gives Company Umbrella to Non-Employee Cleaning Woman
Partners at internationally acclaimed mergers and acquisitions firm Shrinks, Globe & Greid, LLP, were chagrined when, as part of the firm's annual Employee Appreciation Week, an intern in their Manhattan office mistakenly distributed a company um...
Read full storyKentucky Derby: Russian Interference Alleged
There is controversy today in the aftermath of the Kentucky Derby debacle, when winning horse, Maximum Security, was disqualified for 'impeding other horses', and relegated to last place. A new scandal has emerged, of potential Russian involvemen...
Read full storyTrump: "Mueller Couldn't Get Me, So They Impeached the Derby Winner"
Following the disqualification on Saturday of Maximum Security, the apparent Kentucky Derby winner, President Donald Trump tied the stewards' decision to the struggle in Washington to oust him from office. "Only in these days of political correctn...
Read full storyWay Is Now Open For Jussie Smollett To Become The New Chewbacca
When telecommunications pioneer Alexander Graham Bell spoke the famous words "When one door closes, another door opens", he couldn't possibly have had Jussie Smollett in mind, but those were precisely the words that would have been ringing in the dis...
Read full storyGirl's T-shirt Was 'A Bit Much' To Be Honest
A girl sat in the waiting area of an internationally-recognized English language school, was wearing a T-shirt with a message that was, it has to be said, 'slightly out of the ordinary'. The girl, aged about 13, was wearing the white T-shirt embla...
Read full storyMidlands Couple Caught Shafting In Bus Shelter
There were calls for extra police patrols after midnight in residential areas today, after officers arrested a young couple who were 'doing the dirty' in a bus shelter on their way home from a night out. The couple - who have not been named, to av...
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