
New Zealand Prime Minister admits she's "stumped"
Outback, New Zealand -- Jacinda Ardamn, Prime Minister of New Zealand (wherever that is), admitted she's “confused” about the world. Any ideas or policies that do not accord with her own nation's backward notions are “beyond my understanding,” she...
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"Jeremy Kyle Dropped Me from His Show"
"I was going to be a TV star, I was living the dream, until Jeremy Kyle told me he wouldn't broadcast my segment of the show. I was devastated." These were the words of perennial fat bloke Mr Tristram Lard of Balham, south London, as he told The S...
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Trump Pardons Fun Lovin' Criminals
There was consternation in the US legal system today as The White House announced an addition to so-called President Trump's recent flurry of pardons for his reality TV cast of lickspittles, cronies and ne'er-do-wells. The announcement came in Trump'...
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Lone Ranger Admits to Being More of an Introvert
“I know I seem to always getting into the thick of things with outlaws and what-not,” said the Lone Ranger, “but at heart I’m really more of an introvert." The news came as a great surprise to the many who’d previously considered the legendary her...
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Jimmy White Accused Of 'Interfering With Boy's Cue'
Snooker legend Jimmy White is in hot water after a friendly piece of advice he offered to a young lad in a pub was misconstrued, and a photo was posted on social media platforms with the comment: 'Jimmy White interfering with young boy's cue'.
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Boor War: Hostilities Begin with Two Cretins at the Dinner Table
When you make up the list of guests for that very special dinner, be sure to clarify the status of the expected guests. Don't confuse bores with boors. Bores are OK. The normal, run-of-the-mill bore is harmless, just a tedious, wearying sole who m...
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History Rewritten- The American Civil War
Revisionist History At Its Best! Since many individuals in our modern world - for instance Texas school book editors, far right extremists, far left myopics, Polish and Japanese World War II non-apologists, nationalistic Presidents, OUR President...
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Palestine To Compete In Eurovision Song Contest For The First Time
It's that time of year again, when Europe's best singers congregate in one place and sing their hearts out for no real reason at the Eurovision Song Contest, and this year, a historic occasion presents itself with the debut in the contest of a compet...
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