
Trump Accidentally Slaps Self Instead of Slapping New Tariffs On Someone
Donald Trump was rushed to an emergency room by Secret Service agents today apparently after a tweet storm about slapping more tariffs on everybody. "He wasn't leaving anyone out, the whole bloody world was on that tweet including some states here...
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Alice Horn beats US Open officials in closely contested match
New Yawk, New Yawk--Tennis player Alize (French for “Alice”) Cornet (French for “Horn”) took off her shirt during a US Open match against Sweden's Johanna (Swedish for “Joanna”) Larsson (Swedish for “Larson”). Horn claims she was “hot.” (Many male...
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LGBT Rights: Malaysian Lesbians Caned. "We Loved It" Says Male Councillor
Two Malaysian women have been caned publicly in a religious court after being convicted of attempting to have lesbian sex. Women's and LGBT rights groups are understandably incensed by this mediaeval practice. (The caning that is. Don't be silly.)...
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Details emerge of secret negotiations between White House Lawyers and Robert Mueller’s FBI team
In the wake of recent developments, our secret sources are starting to leak details of the high-stakes negotiations going on between President Trump’s team and the small army of FBI investigators lead by Special Investigator Robert Mueller. Both...
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Man Spills Coffee on His Penis After Long Night of Drinking
After a long and hard night of drinking at his class reunion, walking back home in the rain, and then proceeding to throw up one of his kidneys, most of his internal organs, his spleen, his pancreas, the 1% of his liver that actually still works, and...
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