E Coli outbreak linked to brussels sprouts sickens nobody
Another nation wide e coli outbreak has been announced throughout the United States. Fortunately, this one was linked to brussels sprouts, sometimes referred to as "asparagus testicles". Suckly Farms of Idaho announced the outbreak, once the illn...
Read full storyOdors from Ecuador’s Embassy in London draw some concern
Surrounded by protesters and police keeping a close watch for any disturbance, Ecuador’s London embassy is subject to new investigations. That is, observers have noticed a certain odor that appears to be coming from this noble edifice, although fr...
Read full storyBolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel
National Security Advisor John Bolton has had his way over North Korea’s objections to the current “Maximum Thunder” joint exercises with South Korea. Mr. Bolton insists that scheduling the current exercises despite the North-South Koreas’ recent...
Read full storyPANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim
If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...
Read full storySerial Micro-aggressor Gets Life Sentence
Dayton, OH—To his neighbors, Harvey Lasher seemed like the perfect neighbor: genial, helpful when he could be, a man who never let more than a week go by before cutting his grass and trimming his hedgerow. But while those living next door to Harv...
Read full storyBitcoin Volatility Won't Put Me Off, Says Moron
The spectacular crash of the Bitcoin cryptocurrency early this week shook the financial world to its roots, but not all 'investors' were crying in their beer. Arnold Blimp, an 'amateur speculator', first became interested in Bitcoin when it was fi...
Read full storyCouple's security footage 'viewed by voyeurs'
Tony and Mary, are in their seventies, and have been watched by thousands of people around the world on their web-enabled security cameras - and didn’t even know. In 2015, due to security concerns, they fitted their suburban semi with what they th...
Read full story"Stumpy legged men aint sexy," claim Cambridge University!
University student fees are horrendously expensive in the UK and, many students find themselves, after leaving university, in impoverished situations because they can't get a decent job. Well is it a wonder after reading the latest nonsensical stu...
Read full storyCalculator Stopped Working At Critical Time
A calculator which was being used to 'tot up' a list of figures, stopped working at a critical point yesterday, just as the person using it was about to press the '=' sign. Moys Kenwood, 54, received the 'electronic calculating apparatus' as a Chr...
Read full storyElephant Stampede Leaves None Dead
A stampede involving up to 100 elephants in the Angolan city of Luanda created widespread panic yesterday, with the animals careering through busy shopping streets packed with bargain hunters looking for that 'little something special' in their lunch...
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