REVEALED: documents in Trump's folders were NOT blank
Washington, D.C. - After Donald Trump's first press conference as President-elect, the contents of the folders lying on the table next to the lectern where Trump spoke sparked a lot of speculation in the press and on social media. Trump indicated tha...
Read full storyEdible Bitcoin Sells Out
Bitcoin is now edible and selling like hot cakes. Bitcoin is an Internet currency sensation worth $1000 per Bitcoin. It can now be converted into little bits of gold plated chocolate coins. "Each Bitcoin is worth ten chocolate bits, which are...
Read full storyTeenager Failing Math Blamed for China's Superior Economy
Brian Mahoney, 8th grader at Phillipson elementary school in Phillipson Pa. has been failing or nearly failing Math for 6 consecutive quarters leading to China's overwhelming economic superiority. "I just really suck at math" Brian stated i...
Read full storyRoy Cohn clones to replace all unworthy cabinet members
Donald Trump today has promised his base that should any of his cabinet members be found to be failing in their jobs, he would swiftly replace them. The person he has planned to nominate in place of what he called "losers" will be a clone of Donald T...
Read full storyFormer Eastern European Prostitutes to Improve Lives as Future Secret Service Agents
With concerns among liberals of mass deportations in the near future, a surprise announcement was made today by the White House staffing officials concerning an approved influx of legal immigrants coming to the United States. Described in the pre...
Read full storyThe world awaits a clash of fallen Titans not hoping for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes!
Manchester, Sunday 15th on January, sees two once titanic giants clash in a Theater of Dreams, or a nightmare for one, depending who wins and loses this monumental battle. The crowns of these two giants has slipped drastically in recent years, but...
Read full storyTransylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled
Since news broke that First Lady Melania Trump was reanimated from the dead in Transylvania, thousands of people have flocked to the area to sight see and to take a tour of Cryotech Re-animators, Melania Trump's birthplace. Most affected is the to...
Read full storyDonald Trump accuses Dr. Jackass and Mr. Hide of writing "fake news"
I got a call from President-Elect Donald Trump the other day and he asked for a 'private audience' with me for all the fake news he said I've been writing about him. "I tried to tweet you," Trump yelled. "Why don't you tweet. I sent you thirty or...
Read full storyBill Cosby Pitches New Show With Cute, Furry Animals
Beleaguered comedian Bill Cosby is pitching a new show to NBC, the network that scored big on running his show in the early 1990s. "Since NBC is ignoring my calls and my agent told me right before he quit that I have an 'image' problem, I thought...
Read full storyCelebrities Petition Media to Run Stories About Them Instead of Trump
Hollywood, CA Tired of being ignored by the media since Donald Trump announced his candidacy, celebrities expressed their animosity in a petition sent to all the CEO's of the various media companies. "We had a monumental divorce, lawsuits, child c...
Read full storyCop Angered By Krispy Kreme Box
An unnamed, unidentified police officer has claimed in a blog post online that his box of donuts from Krispy Kreme were graffitied when he received them with the phrase, "Black Lives Matter." The alleged incident occurred in New Smyrna, Georgia, a...
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